Browsing PBH By Articles

Fox News Calls Mr. Rogers An Evil Man

Little did I know, Mr. Rogers was an evil man. By telling children they’re special just for being who they are, he helped create this generation of worthless, lazy socialists who think they’re entitled to health care… at least according to Fox News.

They actually use the word “evil” to describe Mr. Rogers and criticize him for his “optimistic message where everyone was special even if they didn’t deserve it”, which is “ruining kids with a sense of entitlement.” Then one of them starts babbling about how children should go back to churning butter and making their own sweaters. Fox’s Brian Kilmeade said “that man unintentionally did a whole generation or two a disservice.” Only on Fox could a man who spent his life dedicated to public service and education be blamed for ruining generations of Americans.

And if you are interested in the ‘study’ done by the LSU professor referenced when Fox News calls Mr. Rogers an evil man, it’s available at the Wall Street Journal: Blame It on Mr. Rogers: Why Young Adults Feel So Entitled.

The 25 Best Simpsons Quotes, Moments, And General Hilarity

After devoutly watching the Simpson’s for 20 years, I thought I’d share my favorite 25 Simpsons quotes, scenes and other miscellany hiliarity from the history of the show. The majority of the quotes from seasons 5-10, but feel free to add your own in the comments (and perhaps I’ll expand it to 50 if a lot more get added!).

1. Bill Cosby explains ‘the rap music’ and kids, all while including all his favorite corporate sponsors:

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I Have Become Everything I Hate

Judge accordingly:

PS. I was listening to Animal Collective during this photo.

The Onion Always Knows, Geopolitical Edition

U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths

Representatives from the nation’s leading flag producer claimed that as many as 143 million deaths in the past two centuries can be attributed directly to the faulty U.S. models, which have been utilized extensively since the 18th century in sectors as diverse as government, the military, and public education….

Millions of U.S. flag–related injuries and fatalities have been reported over a 230-year period in locations as far flung as Europe, Cuba, Korea, Gettysburg, PA, the Philippines, and Iraq. In addition, the company found that U.S. flag exports to Vietnam during the late 1960s and early 1970s resulted in hundreds of thousands of deaths, a clear sign that there was something seriously wrong with its product.

In other news, PBH is becoming a Onion distributor.

I Told You We’d Do It!!!

New design, fuck it! We’re doing it live!